The unspoken shadow in the travel bright light
Travelling is far from a long and quiet river even after you finished reading the Backpacker StarterPack. Being abroad and on the road introduces unexpected elements into our lives. Some of these can potentially threaten our mental and physical well-being, catching us off guard if we fail to identify and overcome them effectively. Many unspoken disadvantages of travelling alone remain in the shadows until the least expected moment. Together, let’s foster awareness and preparation around this unknown topic for ourselves or other travellers to face it one day.
This article delves into the main fears, obstacles, mental and physical threats, drawing from personal experiences and insightful conversations with fellow travellers. It aspires to be a comprehensive guide, continually evolving with your input to ensure accuracy. If you sense any omissions or have relevant insights to share, please contribute in the comments section, fostering a collaborative evolution of this article.
The following content primarily addresses the dark sides of medium and long-term solo travel. While the likelihood of encountering the challenges outlined in this article during your week in St Tropez is minimal (unless it involves depleting your bank account), it is a valuable resource for those engaged in extended journeys. Let’s start this exploration of the less-discussed aspects of travelling on your own.
➤ Face travel tiredness
Tiredness can emerge as one of the main walls you will face during your journey. It can take on several forms, like a sneaky chameleon, primarily as physical and mental exhaustion. While Slow Travel encourages avoiding going through meticulous planning, making you even more exhausted, it can still sneak in for other reasons. Whether induced by parties, early wake-ups for sunrise hikes, days dedicated to exploration on foot, or extended bus/train journeys that often occur overnight (not the most restful, I must say), you might be tempted to surpass your limit, resulting in physical exhaustion. Driven by an irresistible urge not to miss planned experiences or constrained by the limited time in a country, the inclination to push past fatigue might seem a reasonable choice.
Similar challenges apply to mental fatigue. Arising from the above content or the consequences of extensive social interactions that leave your mind in a perpetual spin. This mental tiredness can translate into irritability, grumpiness, or generally disagreeable behaviour.
So, what's the remedy, young fella?
The most apparent yet often overlooked solution: a day off
If you’ve committed to the Slow Travel ethos, embrace it, my friend. Take a break; engage in activities that won’t tax you physically or mentally. Trust me, the joys of tomorrow will be even more fulfilling.
Seek refuge in a tranquil haven
Constantly being surrounded by people can be overwhelming. Consider, even if just for a day, booking a hotel room or a private hostel space. It might cut your budget, but you better eat pasta for the next two days than be a zombie for the week.
Incorporate stretching and meditation into your routine
No kidding. Stretching releases endorphins, acting as a natural painkiller, while meditation provides a moment of serenity and the opportunity to organise your thoughts. Creating a personal bubble allows for inner conversations, helping you focus on what truly matters. Regular sessions of these practices will not only keep your motivation afloat but also contribute to maintaining a healthy mental and physical state.
➤ Suffer from loneliness
One of the greatest human fears (it can be a stinky cheese for others, but I personally like it).
It’s a state of mind we’ve all danced with at least once. The distinction between being physically alone and feeling the weight of loneliness is crucial. While the first one revels in the comfort of solitude, like myself preferring solo travels, feeling alone is an insidious poison that traps you in a cycle where everything seems tasteless.
In our everyday lives, loneliness hits regardless of the number of followers or the frequency of party appearances. It’s a vicious aspect visible from within but often invisible to others. Travelling alone might, especially when away from familiar faces, increase this emotional struggle. The constant flux of switching places and starting from zero in your social circle can lead to relationships that feel superficial. The result? A pervasive sense of not belonging, feeling accepted, or succumbing to homesickness.
What can you try to do to overcome it, young fella?
Get closer to other travellers/people from your home country or culture
Overcoming loneliness on the road requires a blend of courage and self-compassion. Embrace and seek connections with fellow travellers or individuals from your homeland. While the essence of travel lies in discovering the unknown, sometimes, finding solace in shared references can be heartwarming. Building connections with those who share your frame of reference creates a mutual understanding, making you feel more genuinely heard and seen.
Stay Connected, Despite the Distance
Fighting loneliness extends beyond physical presence. Connect with loved ones through the magic of technology. While it won’t place them beside you, seeing familiar faces smiling and hearing the laughter can wonderfully work. Engaging in heartwarming conversations with friends and family becomes a crucial antidote to the poison of loneliness as it’s often easier to express how we feel to our relatives and closest friends.
Unveiling Authentic Connections
Despite the initial scepticism about relationships formed on the road, they possess a unique depth. Without societal expectations and surrounded by the unfamiliar, travellers often reveal their true selves. As Future said, it’s time to take off the mask. Though these connections may be shorter in duration, the intensity can be higher than expected. The condensed time frame, coupled with the shared passion for exploration, leads to profound emotional exchanges. In the travel world, spending two days with someone can reveal more than three years of friendship elsewhere. So, why not share your inner struggles with these fellow wanderers you feel connected with?
➤ Confront the boredom
Picture boredom as that familiar old aunt at family dinners. The one who is always eager to plant unexpected kisses on your cheek with her sneaky moustache. You want to escape from her.
Boredom reflects a profound sense of apathy as if everything in your surroundings has been explored. There is nothing new triggering your excitement or curiosity. Travel loses its savour. The anticipation, the electric thrill running down your skin thinking of the next day, seems to have vanished. It’s akin to finishing a game where no plans or ideas may trigger any genuine enthusiasm.
Even the most extraordinary experiences can turn boring when repeated daily. Yes, the thrill of exploring new places and meeting fresh faces can lose its charm over time. Some might argue that this is a problem only privileged individuals face, but does that diminish its significance? Perhaps there are more pressing matters, but if offering a solution can brighten someone’s solo journey and bring them joy, I’d gladly wear the crown of the happiest person on Earth.
The routine might sneak in as you find yourself traversing historical centres, markets, and museums repeatedly. Bid farewell to friends heading off to different destinations, and suddenly, the once-intense and emotionally charged period you shared with them leaves you standing alone, contemplating your solitary path. A path that now seems monotonous.
How does one counter this sense of monotony, ask the young fella?
Maybe it’s time to move, literally
That’s simple. Sometimes, all it takes is stepping out of the circle or place keeping you confined. Venturing into unknown territories might reawaken the flames of curiosity. Feel free to reshuffle your plans entirely. Consider exploring a different country, setting challenges that call your inner explorer.
Change your habits and step beyond your comfort zone
Ironically, being on the road on your own already implies a certain level of discomfort. However, introducing small changes to your exploration can inject a newfound spark into your adventure. Get out of your comfort zone! Instead of relying on GPS, engage and trust locals for directions and guidance. Dare climb a mountain, take a dance class, visit a museum, or attend a cooking lesson; try something unusual you have never done. The world is vast, teeming with possibilities; dive in without hesitation.
➤ Did I make the right choice?
We often find ourselves pondering every decision we’ve made, questioning if it was the right path. What if we had chosen differently? In this uncertainty, I frequently reflect on the roads I’ve taken and the doors I’ve left closed. It seems that wondering about our past choices is part of human nature.
Travelling alone in the medium or long term certainly involves making important decisions. Perhaps you’ve left a job, a relationship, or academic pursuits behind to pursue this journey. Going against family wishes or turning down a promising career opportunity might have been part of the equation.
Questioning whether you made the right choice often emerges during low moments. It’s easy to forget the incredible experiences and treasures you’ve lived along the way. In those moments, uncertainty eclipses the positive, and doubts arise about sacrifices you’ve made for a seemingly foolish dream. You may even fear that the opportunity you left behind will never present itself again.
But did you truly make the wrong choice, young fella? Here are some tips to genuinely assess:
Realise You’re Living Your Dream
Every choice you’ve made has brought you to this very moment. You are living your dream. You will never be able to see or do everything anyway except if you can duplicate yourself (in that case, send a DM ASAP to share tips). Yes, there are disadvantages of travelling alone, but don’t lose sight of the incredible opportunity it represents. This journey is not just a geographic one; it’s a chance to grow as a human. It’s a chance to develop skills you might not have acquired otherwise. Recall the good moments and the reasons that led you to embark on this adventure. In the grand tapestry of life, each decision contributes to the unique narrative you’re living, so embrace the uncertainties and let the journey shape you in ways you never imagined.
Live in the present moment
Life isn’t a constant upward trajectory; it naturally has its highs and lows. You do not have to travel all your life, but you can make money later. Will the countries you are exploring still be accessible in 2040? Will you have the time and energy to undertake such adventures at 50 years old? You can wonder about the drawbacks but don’t forget to weigh them against the benefits.
Embrace Healthy Self-Questioning
Life involves compromises, and decisions come with pros and cons, questioning your choices is normal and healthy behaviour. Through introspection, you gain a clearer understanding of each facet of your life, fostering personal growth and learning. Share your wonder with fellow travellers; you might be surprised that many struggle with the same concerns. After all, we’re part of a larger community than we often realise.
➤ Being overwhelmed & burnout quickly
Have you ever experienced that overwhelming sensation, as if the weight of thoughts, decisions, and emotions is about to make you implode? It’s akin to attempting to breathe underwater. The impression that life is beating, crushing, and pursuing you without respite. Dealing with burnout is intrinsically tied to feeling overwhelmed, two companions as inseparable as your buttocks. This topic remains unfortunately under-discussed, given its profound consequences.
The root of overwhelm often lies in a mindset where every minute of daily life is excessively overanalysed. Picture it as a giant wave coming at you without any possibility of dodging it. Trying to escape burnout or overwhelm can be as challenging as trying to shake off gum stuck under your shoe, it gets sticky each time.
So, what can you do to feel better?
Unleash the Beast
Do you feel on the verge of punching everyone? Why not venture into the wild and unleash a primal scream? Let the world hear your exhaustion, frustration, rage, or confusion. Convert that weight into a powerful and ferocious shout. Create a storm to attract good weather.
An alternative solution involves intense exercise sessions. Subject your body and mind to hell workouts to divert those brouhaha thought packs. With no choice but to focus on the physical exertion, you’ll find relief. Sweat abundantly, think minimally.
The optimal strategy? Combine the two. Scream your heart out at the end of an intense workout, preferably in the great outdoors. The added benefits of being outside are undeniable. This dual approach triggers dopamine release, potentially uplifting your mood and alleviating mental strain.
Feel out of shape on the road?
Put It on Paper
Perhaps this overwhelming state is a constant companion in your life. Instead of resisting, why not embrace it? Begin by acknowledging your feelings. After all, you wouldn’t embrace a stranger, would you? Invest in a notebook and throw your thoughts on paper. This act not only organises your thoughts but transforms them from unknown into relatives.
Meditative Allies
Meditation can be intimidating for many. The idea of sitting down and facing oneself induces fear. But why fear a conversation with relatives? Treat yourself as an ally, not an adversary. Meditation becomes a guiding force, helping you organise your thoughts and fostering a positive self-perception.
Remember, meditation doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all formula. It can be active or passive, indoors or outdoors, guided or solitary. There’s no right or wrong—only your way, your choice.
➤ The difficulty to maintain relationships
Travelling and being in love? Some will say impossible, others risky, and the rest feasible. Who holds the correct perspective? Well, there’s no definitive answer, but if you are interested, you’re likely either nurturing a long-distance relationship or you fell in love while wandering. While there may be other scenarios, I will not explore them because of a lack of knowledge.
For those bravely engaged in the path of a long-distance relationship, my hat goes off to you. Although I haven’t personally experienced this, I hold immense respect for those who have. Yet, I’m eager to connect with fellow travellers who have walked this path or hear from you. I am trying to be as accurate as possible to demystify the challenges it might bring.
Being in a long-distance relationship
Is there a way to navigate these hurdles? Absolutely young fella:
Clear Communication and Efforts
Understand and be aware of each other’s desires, objectives, expectations and dreams. Efforts from both sides are crucial to adapting to each other’s lifestyles. Plan regular calls, establish availability windows, and, most importantly, honour commitments. The key to success lies in clear and consistent communication.
Don’t take things personally
In the absence of good communication, the foundation crumbles. It’s essential to refrain from taking things personally, seek clarification when needed, and objectively accept constructive criticism. Always conclude conversations with an “I love you” and use it as a pillar in every relationship that matters to you.
Temptation and Reflection
If cheating calls, take a moment of introspection. Is a one-night stand worth the solid foundation you’ve built over months or years? If the answer is yes, perhaps reconsider the relationship you are in. Yes, sexual dryness can be tough, and thinking that your partner might never learn about it is tempting, but don’t be a dick. Remember that communication is the key.
Falling in love while travelling
In this case, you’ve found love amidst your adventures, whether with a fellow traveller or a local. What choices lie ahead for those who’ve fallen for an unexpected connection? Two scenarios unfold:
Embrace the Moment
Fully immerse yourself in the shared experience, knowing that paths may diverge afterwards. Be mindful of the feelings involved and refrain from playing with emotions, once again communication is the key when it involves two human beings. Sometimes, cherishing the present is beneficial for everyone concerned. It’s a challenging decision, but the set of memories created have their own unique value. If it turns out to be a profound and genuine connection, the future still holds opportunities for reconnection.
Transform Your Journey
Consider modifying your travel plans to align with this newfound connection. If the person you’ve fallen for is also a traveller, why not share a part of the adventure together? Unexpected choices can lead to the most rewarding experiences. If the connection is with a local resident, perhaps continue your travels and return later. However, especially while travelling, no one knows what could happen to both of you during this gap. You or she may meet another person and fall in love with them too, or the love can stay intact and then enjoy! Extending your stay or exploring volunteering opportunities and house-sitting can offer time with your loved one and a deeper understanding of the local culture.
In the ever-evolving world of slow travel, backpacking, and adventure, the intertwining of love and exploration adds another layer to the fascinating stories we create on our journeys.
➤ Lose friends at home
Embarking on medium to long-term travel often comes with an idyllic vision, the anticipation that our friends will eagerly await our return home. However, reality unfolds in unexpected ways. The truth or what you should expect from your first solo travel is, people don’t always await your return as you might have imagined.
The essence of this unique travel experience lies in the plurality of challenges you face. Not necessarily negative ones, but a multitude of experiences that foster personal growth, a growth that often outpaces the conventional 9-5 routine. While you are navigating through the world, your friends back home are chasing their own goals. They perhaps started a family and had a baby (when your “baby” is nothing but a backpack), bought a property, secured jobs, or pursued various endeavours. This divergence in life trajectories can lead to a noticeable separation, especially when you reunite with friends face-to-face for the first time in months, exposing distinct differences in your perspectives and interests.
Staying connected with everyone isn’t an easy task. Let’s be real; no one wants to spend their entire travel experiences glued to a phone screen (after all, it’s travel, not a holiday, right?). This pattern of evolving friendships is a recurring theme in life. Reflect on your past, high school, university, professional career. You will likely notice how your circle of friends has shifted with each change in lifestyle and aspirations.
Now, the question arises. How to keep my fellas’ friendships while I’m on the road?
Nurture Relationships Simply
True friendships don’t demand constant communication; no one expects you to send a text every three days. Instead, consider nurturing these connections by staying in touch monthly. It doesn’t require marathon phone calls, just be yourself, whether you’re halfway across the globe or just around the corner. Losing some friends during your travels can be painful, but sometimes, it’s for the best. True friends will still be there, ready to chat no matter how much time has passed.
Accept Natural Selection in Your Friends’ Circle
Reiterating the point, true friends will still be there, ready to chat no matter how much time has passed. Daily routines often blind us to the diversity of interesting individuals around us. Prolonged periods away naturally refine your circle of friends for the better. Remember, friendship is a two-way street. If someone blamed you for not reaching out while they failed to do the same, it speaks for itself. Communication, whether you’re at home or away, requires effort from both ends.
Within your journey, the loss of friendships is inevitable. Embrace the changes, appreciate the growth, and cherish the enduring connections that stand the test of time and distance.
➤ Not having a “home-base”
Often, you feel like the perfect wanderer with its old stinky bundle. The constant cycle of changing locations every 3-4 days and the perpetual ritual of packing and unpacking becomes an endless dance that can be exhausting. Maintaining a healthy diet becomes a daily challenge without a familiar kitchen where you can confidently find your favourite utensils and spices.
Although you may have found the perfect backpacker accommodation, it can often transform into a communal messy space. Whether because of shared rooms with a diverse cast of characters, some snoring, others stinking, and few engaging in late-night conversations or stumbling in after a drunk night. This communal living can affect your sleep cycle. It leaves you far from the peace and comfort that feels like home.
Furthermore, the constraints of communal living impose a set of unwritten rules. You can’t just leave your semi-used clothes across a random chair, and dishes staying overnight is a definite no-no, considering someone else might need them. Finally, you cannot wander naked if you desire (the worst point, according to several sources including myself).
"Is there a solution to it while travelling without spending all my budget in private rooms?" asks the young fella:
Private Rooms
If the allure of two nights of undisturbed, restful sleep is too tempting and most needed to resist, do it even though it’s more expensive. Remember, this journey is a marathon, not a sprint. The joy of uninterrupted sleep, without these drunks coming at 3 AM shouting in the corridor is a luxury.
Stay longer in a place – Spend less
For those seeking respite from the perpetual cycle of packing and unpacking, there exist options that allow you to plant roots, if only temporarily. Whether through volunteering or house-sitting, you can escape the relentless routine of suitcase life.
Beyond the practicality of staying put or saving money while travelling, these opportunities offer a deeper connection to both people and places. The same kitchen and accommodation over an extended period foster a sense of routine. Volunteering presents a chance to delve into communities and places, gaining an in-depth understanding while contributing with your skills.
House-sitting, on the other hand, provides you with a house of your own for weeks or months in exchange for tending to plants, maintaining the house, or looking after any pets. It’s a win-win, translating to peaceful nights, well-equipped kitchens, the freedom to wander clothes-free (youhouuu!), and a consistent living space, all without spending a dime on accommodations. It’s the epitome of rent-free magic.
➤ Other people opinions on your lifestyle
People often recycle the same phrases to share their opinions about your choice to travel or the disadvantages of travelling alone. Here are a few favourites of mine: “You’re running away from your problems and responsibilities”, “When will you settle down and get a regular job?”, “You’re not living in the real world”, or “What’s your plan when you return?”.
These statements or remarks can hurt, I won’t deny that. It feels like your loved ones don’t approve of your chosen path. It’s as if a wave of negativity or criticism is directed at you, triggering a natural instinct to distance yourself from these individuals. It can lead to a sense of being misunderstood. Why can’t they see the beauty in my current life? Why can’t they recognize my genuine happiness in what I’m doing?
How can you make them understand your situation, young fella?
Remember, communication is the key.
The stakes and challenges here are similar to those in romantic or friendship relationships. Everything flows more smoothly with a mutual understanding of each other’s perspectives, desires, and dreams. Clear communication with everyone who matters to you is essential. Ask them about the ‘why,’ and often, clarity emerges for both parties. Mutual understanding is a building process, not something genuine.
Don’t take it personally.
Sometimes, it’s rooted in jealousy because you’re living the dream they never dared to pursue. Other times, people worry about your future. They fear not seeing you return or hugging the person who set off on a journey. Don’t let it get you down. Stand your ground and explain your choices and dreams to them. Explain the ‘why’ and ‘how’ of your journey. Communicate why it’s crucial to savour the present moment rather than constantly thinking ten years ahead.
➤ Travel blues
Could solo travel be considered one of the most addictive drugs on Earth? If we view travel as a manifestation of freedom, then absolutely.
Coming back home after months of exploration throws you into a challenging phase. The world appears tasteless, lacking the excitement it once held when you were on the road. You find yourself less captivated by your surroundings, experiencing waves of boredom. Welcome to the fabulous Travel Blues step, my friend!
Once you’ve experienced seeing new places, living adventures daily and having no one to compromise with, it’s hard to give that freedom up.
As soon as you stay in one place too long, you’ll have itchy feet desperate to get on the road again. Your backpack remains partially unpacked, and you are melancholically looking at your pictures gallery. It’s akin to being in a golden jail, or at least that’s the sentiment.
Is there a substitute for this addiction? Yes, put down that metaphorical joint, little junky.
Embrace the SlowSight Soul Community and the Slow Travel Mindset.
Adventures commence at your doorstep; there’s no need to jet off to Asia or Latin America to explore. Go and venture into the simple joys around you. Often, we overlook the beauty in our immediate surroundings, opting to traverse great distances to satisfy our wanderlust. Remember, your perception shapes your reality; if travel, for you, means discovering new things, you can achieve it close to home.
Understand the cyclical nature of everything.
While it might be delightful to travel indefinitely, the less pleasant phases before are what make these travel cycles so enriching. Returning home doesn’t signify the end; it marks the inception of earning money and planning the next adventure. Perhaps your destinations will vary, or your plans might transform.
Stay on that drug at a different scale.
If dedicating your life to travel calls you, go for it. Numerous options allow you to traverse the globe while simultaneously working. Travel for a few months, settle in a location to earn money and travel again without returning home. This lifestyle ensures an elongated exploration without emptying your finances. It’s a genuinely intriguing option that might resonate with some but terrify others. The choice is yours. Why not give it a try?
The advantages of the disadvantages
Don’t give up on your first fall. More will come, and each fall holds a lesson waiting to be learned. It’s a vital part of the self-discovery process, shaping your perspectives on various aspects of life. Many wonderful struggles will happen to you, that’s the game of being a human.
Three potent tools emerge to navigate this challenging landscape drawn from my adventures and insights shared by fellow travellers.
Meditation, the act of putting thoughts on paper, and, if you’re inclined, sharing your emotions with others is a useful set of tools every traveller struggling should have. Engaging in verbal exchanges unveils a shared human experience, revealing that many, if not all, have experienced similar emotional storms. You’re not alone, and the collective wisdom, experiences, and compassionate listening of others can be crucial in surmounting your obstacles.
What’s remarkable is that none of these tools demands a significant investment of time or money. So why not take that initial step and discover if they hold value for you?
Despite the apparent drawbacks, numerous solo travel benefits emerge from all the obstacles described above. By daring to look further than the end of its nose, one finds the potential for something transformative. It sparks a new idea waterfall, fostering self-reflection and introspection about our true selves, desires, and priorities. Feeling boredom, loneliness, tiredness, or overwhelm can be frightening. However, it initiates existential questioning and reveals insecurity, a series of daily confrontations we’d rather avoid.
Yet, in the end, if we don’t even ask ourselves deep questions to feel comfortable with our inner self and its dark sides, who will carry this cause on our behalf?
Bon voyage!
Wander With Purpose – Connect With Heart.
