Have you ever considered becoming an au pair? Beyond the allure of solo travel stories and learning a new language, there’s a real, everyday life to be experienced. Although the adventure itself is globally worth it, there are still myths to debunk. Far from being a long and calm river, dive in this article into my own au pair experience with a Mexican family laying out the actual responsibilities and what you really gain, and perhaps lose, from this unique cultural exchange. From the mundane day-to-day tasks to the deeper connections formed, let’s explore what it’s truly like to live and work as an au pair.
Have you ever considered becoming an au pair? Beyond the allure of solo travel stories and learning a new language, there’s a real, everyday life to be experienced.
Although the adventure itself is globally worth it, there are still myths to debunk. Far from being a long and calm river, dive in this article into my own au pair experience with a Mexican family laying out the actual responsibilities and what you really gain, and perhaps lose, from this unique cultural exchange.
From the mundane day-to-day tasks to the deeper connections formed, let’s explore what it’s truly like to live and work as an au pair.
The Triggering Context of My au Pair Experience
To fully understand the story, we must turn back the clock to 2021. At that time, I was refused into all the master’s programs I had applied for, leaving me with an unexpected gap year. Then, a friend suggested becoming an au pair, and within days, my CV was sent to families worldwide.
Fortunately, one dared to answer me, a Mexican family based in Guadalajara. After a few quick interviews, my contract was signed, my flight booked, and my excitement was at its peak. I was heading to a place I knew nothing about, with a language I didn’t speak and 13,000 kilometres away from any familiar faces. Yet, I was thrilled to dive into this au pair experience.
To fully understand the story, we must turn back the clock to 2021.
At that time, I was refused into all the master’s programs I had applied for, leaving me with an unexpected gap year.
Then, a friend suggested becoming an au pair, and within days, my CV was sent to families worldwide. Fortunately, one dared to answer me, a Mexican family based in Guadalajara.
After a few quick interviews, my contract was signed, my flight booked, and my excitement was at its peak. I was heading to a place I knew nothing about, with a language I didn’t speak and 13,000 kilometres away from any familiar faces. Yet, I was thrilled to dive into this au pair experience.
Want to discover the world differently?
A welcoming family but…
After a long flight, the family caught me at the airport to welcome me into their dear and cherished country. Only friendly smiles await me and through a one-hour car ride, I discovered for the first time Guadalajara and its surroundings.
However, these friendly faces and warm welcomes were far from helping me understand the weird atmosphere I was about to enter. Overall, we could have done things differently to make my au pair experience smoother. The family wasn’t ready, and neither was I.
After a long flight, the family caught me at the airport to welcome me into their dear and cherished country. Only friendly smiles await me and through a one-hour car ride, I discovered for the first time Guadalajara and its surroundings.
However, these friendly faces and warm welcomes were far from helping me understand the weird atmosphere I was about to enter.
Overall, we could have done things differently to make my au pair experience smoother. The family wasn’t ready, and neither was I.
"Life is short and the world is wide"
When the au pair experience might go wrong
Act 1
Sometimes, people try to fix their external world without addressing their internal struggles. Unfortunately, this happened with the family I worked for during my au pair experience. The mom had left, creating a big gap in their lives, especially for the two little girls, aged 9 and 12. It wasn’t some story from years ago; it happened just months before I arrived in Mexico.
The remaining adults, dad, aunt (his sister), and grandma, were juggling their jobs and couldn’t afford to cut back on work hours without sacrificing their income. Thus, the situation made hiring an au pair a necessity.
However, everything changed just a few days before my arrival. I received a message from the aunt saying the plan for my au pair experience had “slightly” changed.
Sometimes, people try to fix their external world without addressing their internal struggles. Unfortunately, this happened with the family I worked for during my au pair experience.
The mom had left, creating a big gap in their lives, especially for the two little girls, aged 9 and 12. It wasn’t some story from years ago; it happened just months before I arrived in Mexico.
The remaining adults, dad, aunt (his sister), and grandma, were juggling their jobs and couldn’t afford to cut back on work hours without sacrificing their income. Thus, the situation made hiring an au pair a necessity.
However, everything changed just a few days before my arrival. I received a message from the aunt saying the plan for my au pair experience had “slightly” changed.
Act 2
Originally, I was supposed to live with the dad, the aunt, and the girls at the aunt’s house. But an argument between the dad and the aunt changed the whole story. He hadn’t paid rent for several months, and after trying to work something out, moved into a tiny 20-square-metre studio with his daughters.
Suddenly, the idea of living with the girls and the whole family fell apart. Instead, I will live with the aunt while the dad would bring the girls over in the afternoons or mornings. No overnight stays. Thus, my au pair experience quickly turned into something not that enchanting.
This major shift made my au pair experience feel like a series of babysitting gigs rather than the immersive family experience I had anticipated.
Originally, I was supposed to live with the dad, the aunt, and the girls at the aunt’s house. But an argument between the dad and the aunt changed the whole story.
He hadn’t paid rent for several months, and after trying to work something out, moved into a tiny 20-square-metre studio with his daughters.
Suddenly, the idea of living with the girls and the whole family fell apart. Instead, I will live with the aunt while the dad would bring the girls over in the afternoons or mornings. No overnight stays. Thus, my au pair experience quickly turned into something not that enchanting.
This major shift made my au pair experience feel like a series of babysitting gigs rather than the immersive family experience I had anticipated.
What does an au pair experience look like?
What does an au pair’s life look like? My days varied over the weeks, but some routines remained consistent. The dad would bring his daughters from 8 AM to 2 PM or 1 PM to 8 PM. We mostly played, cooked, hung out in the park with the dogs, watched movies, and engaged in various childhood activities.
Actually, it was pretty fun, to be honest. Furthermore, we also set up a mandatory English class for two hours a day to help the girls build a foundation for a possible move to Canada in the future.
In my free time, I was learning Spanish (since I was still a noob) through interactions with the family, the surroundings, and a set of online classes included in my contract. I also enjoyed a mix of sports, meeting new people, exploring, and simply chilling while reassuring my family and friends that I was happy despite the challenges. Daily, I immersed myself in Mexican and Latino culture in the best way possible, discovering and creating unforgettable memories of the world through local eyes.
What does an au pair’s life look like?
My days varied over the weeks, but some routines remained consistent. The dad would bring his daughters from 8 AM to 2 PM or 1 PM to 8 PM. We mostly played, cooked, hung out in the park with the dogs, watched movies, and engaged in various childhood activities.
Actually, it was pretty fun, to be honest. Furthermore, we also set up a mandatory English class for two hours a day to help the girls build a foundation for a possible move to Canada in the future.
In my free time, I was learning Spanish (since I was still a noob) through interactions with the family, the surroundings, and a set of online classes included in my contract.
I also enjoyed a mix of sports, meeting new people, exploring, and simply chilling while reassuring my family and friends that I was happy despite the challenges.
Daily, I immersed myself in Mexican and Latino culture in the best way possible, discovering and creating unforgettable memories of the world through local eyes.
The emotional charge of living AS an au pair experience
The toughest part of my au pair experience
Now, let’s enter the harsh part. How can one feel during an au pair experience? In my case, during the following weeks and months, life as an au pair was a rollercoaster of highs and lows. Building a relationship with the girls felt like taking one step forward and two steps back. Due to their unstable family environment, their mother’s absence, and other factors, it was difficult to develop a healthy and trusting bond. As a stranger who didn’t speak Spanish at first, I understood their struggle too. They were victims of their circumstances.
Now, let’s enter the harsh part. How can one feel during an au pair experience?
In my case, during the following weeks and months, life as an au pair was a rollercoaster of highs and lows. Building a relationship with the girls felt like taking one step forward and two steps back. Due to their unstable family environment, their mother’s absence, and other factors, it was difficult to develop a healthy and trusting bond.
As a stranger who didn’t speak Spanish at first, I understood their struggle too. They were victims of their circumstances.
Do making efforts mean results?
I began to feel the emotional weight of this situation. Putting in daily effort without seeing results, and being far from my trusted support system, created tough times. There were days when I felt emotionally sick, sometimes crying, or feeling despair about what was happening around me. I wanted to help this family, especially the girls, but I didn’t have the tools they needed. What they needed was a mother, and I was far from it.
However, I must express my gratitude to the aunt. Without her support, I might have left the family within the first month. She showed deep support, and genuine compassion, and became a true friend. Undoubtedly, I am grateful to have known her.
I began to feel the emotional weight of this situation. Putting in daily effort without seeing results, and being far from my trusted support system, created tough times.
There were days when I felt emotionally sick, sometimes crying, or feeling despair about what was happening around me.
I wanted to help this family, especially the girls, but I didn’t have the tools they needed. What they needed was a mother, and I was far from it.
However, I must express my gratitude to the aunt. Without her support, I might have left the family within the first month. She showed deep support, and genuine compassion, and became a true friend. Undoubtedly, I am grateful to have known her.
The end of this au pair experience
After spending five months of my initial six-month contract as an au pair, I gave up. Despite my best efforts and good intentions, it became clear that my presence was more of a burden than a help to this family. They needed time to find peace and stability within themselves before welcoming someone new into their lives.
This decision was not made lightly or easy to take. I had adopted a superhero mindset, believing I could help the girls feel better. However, what they truly needed was time and familiarity. Even with the best intentions, there was an ever-present tension, like a sword of Damocles hanging over our relationships, occasionally dropping to reset itself anew.
Ultimately, sometimes the best way to help is by stepping back and allowing people the space they need to heal and grow.
After spending five months of my initial six-month contract as an au pair, I gave up. Despite my best efforts and good intentions, it became clear that my presence was more of a burden than a help to this family.
They needed time to find peace and stability within themselves before welcoming someone new into their lives.
This decision was not made lightly or easy to take. I had adopted a superhero mindset, believing I could help the girls feel better. However, what they truly needed was time and familiarity.
Even with the best intentions, there was an ever-present tension, like a sword of Damocles hanging over our relationships, occasionally dropping to reset itself anew.
Ultimately, sometimes the best way to help is by stepping back and allowing people the space they need to heal and grow.
What did I learn from this au pair experience?
Key Criteria to Select Your Host Family for an Au Pair Experience
Choosing the right family for your au pair experience is crucial. It might seem obvious, but on what criteria should you base your decision to determine if a family is ready to welcome you? Based on my experiences, here are some essential factors to consider.
Choosing the right family for your au pair experience is crucial. It might seem obvious, but on what criteria should you base your decision to determine if a family is ready to welcome you?
Based on my experiences, here are some essential factors to consider.
1. Does Your Host Family Already Have Au Pair Experience?
While it’s not mandatory, it’s beneficial if your host family has previously hosted an au pair. This way, you can ask for the contact details of their former au pair and gather honest feedback. Hosting an au pair is different from hiring a nanny; it requires the family to be prepared to integrate you into their home and daily life smoothly.
While it’s not mandatory, it’s beneficial if your host family has previously hosted an au pair. This way, you can ask for the contact details of their former au pair and gather honest feedback.
Hosting an au pair is different from hiring a nanny; it requires the family to be prepared to integrate you into their home and daily life smoothly.
2. Are the Children Used to Being Cared for by Someone Outside the Family?
This was a significant factor for me. If the children have never been cared for by someone outside their family, it can lead to challenging situations. A child accustomed to being looked after by others, such as during summer camps or by a nanny, is more likely to accept you easily.
This was a significant factor for me. If the children have never been cared for by someone outside their family, it can lead to challenging situations.
A child accustomed to being looked after by others, such as during summer camps or by a nanny, is more likely to accept you easily.
3. Does the Family Have Unresolved Major Issues?
From my au pair experience, living in a stable environment is vital. If the family is dealing with significant unresolved issues, it can make it difficult for you to feel comfortable and settled. Although this information might be hard to uncover, it’s a critical red flag to consider.
From my au pair experience, living in a stable environment is vital. If the family is dealing with significant unresolved issues, it can make it difficult for you to feel comfortable and settled.
Although this information might be hard to uncover, it’s a critical red flag to consider.
4. What Are the Family’s Values?
Ask about the family’s values, what they want to teach their kids, how they spend their free time, and how they manage household chores. The parents’ vision and behaviour often reflect on the children, providing a good indication of what to expect.
Ask about the family’s values, what they want to teach their kids, how they spend their free time, and how they manage household chores.
The parents’ vision and behaviour often reflect on the children, providing a good indication of what to expect.
5. What Tasks Will You Be Responsible For?
It’s essential to clarify your responsibilities. Some host families might mistakenly treat the au pair role as a domestic worker position. Your primary duties should involve caring for the children, teaching them a new language, and helping with daily chores, not being a household cleaner or cook. Ensure that the family understands and respects the scope of your role.
By considering these factors, you can better navigate your au pair experience and ensure it is both rewarding and enjoyable. Always know your ground and be prepared to advocate for yourself if needed.
It’s essential to clarify your responsibilities. Some host families might mistakenly treat the au pair role as a domestic worker position.
Your primary duties should involve caring for the children, teaching them a new language, and helping with daily chores, not being a household cleaner or cook. Ensure that the family understands and respects the scope of your role.
By considering these factors, you can better navigate your au pair experience and ensure it is both rewarding and enjoyable. Always know your ground and be prepared to advocate for yourself if needed.
The impact of this au pair experience on my travel experience
So, there you have it, the raw, unvarnished truth about the au pair experience. It’s a journey filled with unexpected twists, emotional highs and lows, and profound personal growth. Whether you’re considering becoming an au pair for the adventure, the cultural exchange, or the challenge, remember it’s not just about living abroad—it’s about navigating real-life dynamics in a foreign setting.
As you ponder your next step, how can these insights help you prepare better and choose wisely your host family? What resonates most with you from this journey?
This special experience, despite all the challenges, is profoundly rewarding. It might be a life-changing time as was the case for you. So, why not explore this majestic Slow Travel blog to choose your next destination and give it a try?
Bon voyage!
Wander with Purpose – Connect with heart.
So, there you have it, the raw, unvarnished truth about the au pair experience. It’s a journey filled with unexpected twists, emotional highs and lows, and profound personal growth.
Whether you’re considering becoming an au pair for the adventure, the cultural exchange, or the challenge, remember it’s not just about living abroad—it’s about navigating real-life dynamics in a foreign setting.
As you ponder your next step, how can these insights help you prepare better and choose wisely your host family? What resonates most with you from this journey?
This special experience, despite all the challenges, is profoundly rewarding. It might be a life-changing time as was the case for you.
So, why not explore this majestic Slow Travel blog to choose your next destination and give it a try?
Bon voyage!
Wander with Purpose – Connect with heart.
